Ok let me set the scene….
I was all dressed up in my finest (which included red lipstick, a short dress and stockings) and ready to go to a booking. Ok?
I decided to put some more wood on the Rayburn before I left, to keep the house warm. I collected a basket of logs and started putting them on the fire (I left the outside door open), one of the logs turned as I put it on the fire, so I couldn’t fit more in. I was kneeling on the floor, skirt hiked up and stockings showing, trying to get it to turn back and getting highly frustrated at which point I shouted at it “FUCKING FALL DOWN!!” (Yes, I know it’s not very ladylike).
As the words left my mouth I heard movement at the open door. It was a member of the local SWRI (Scottish Women’s Rural Institute) delivering my Christmas card.
I don’t expect they’ll send me a card next year…